Small Pool

Towards the end of my divorce decree, I met a nice single guy and we started dating exclusively. I will share the details of how we met in a later post. But I decided after a few months that a relationship was not what I needed at this point in my life. I had been married for close to 20 years, and in and out of relationships prior to that. I couldn't remember being single for any particular length of time. I had to understand why I was single and what I was supposed to accomplish during this season. We had a heated discussion with me telling him that I wasn't ready for a relationship, and he proceeded to tell me the following:

"As women get older, their pool becomes smaller for choices in dating, but as men get older, their pool becomes larger." He also told me it would be hard for me to find someone to meet the standards I require, and that I probably needed to adjust my standards. Was he serious? First of all...I had no plan to adjust or lower my standards, and second of all, I'm not some broken woman who needs a man to rescue her. Growing up in church, we are made to feel that marriage and children is our ultimate goal as women, and I enjoy being a mother (most of the time - LOL) and I enjoyed being married (some of the time). But as I get older, I realize that I am still ME without a title of wife and mother. I'm thankful for my children, and I'm grateful to have been married, although we tripped at the finish line to the 20 year milestone. I also realize that my experiences in marriage and motherhood helped shape who I am today. I'd like to believe that both experiences have made me stronger and wiser.

So when dating is on the table for me again, I will just happily float along in whatever pool God has for me. I don't believe that I will grow old alone, neither do I believe that my choices will be limited.

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